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I’m a hypocrite.

Friday, August 27, 2010 - Rant, Thoughts

Yes, it’s true.  I’m a hypocrite!

Why, you may ask?  Well, simply put, I’m a hypocrite because when I took the following pictures, I had two completely different reactions.

The first picture (of the breast cancer scissors) I took and posted to twitter via twitpic with the caption “#BreastCancer scissors?! Really? Why?! #StupidCrapPeopleBuy.”  I’m not against breast cancer research by any means, but really?  Scissors!  Why would anyone need breast cancer scissors!?

I know what you’re thinking.  “It’s not that they need “breast cancer” scissors, specifically, but they need scissors and they can donate to a good cause by buying those.”

Bull shit!

If they want to donate to a good cause, they can put a check in the mail directly to the breast cancer research centers and charities.  They want to buy the scissors because they’re “breast cancer pink” and have those ridiculous ribbons all over the blades.  Why might they want such hideous and gaudy scissors, you ask?  Because when they use them, people will notice them, and when people notice those tacky scissors with the glaringly obvious shade pink and the ribbons on the blades, they’ll say, “Oh, they donated money to breast cancer research.  Good for them.”

Well, not me.  When I see that kind of nonsense, I laugh my butt off at the stupidity that went into such a purchase.

Did you know that they have breast cancer pie crusts?  No, I’m not joking.  I once went out of my way to a different store and paid a little bit more just to buy pie crusts without any connection to breast cancer research.

I’m sure by now you’re wondering what the breast cancer scissors have to do with Box Tops, right?

Well, nothing, really.  Except for the fact that both organizations are technically (by my definition, not necessarily theirs) charities and they use various bits of merchandise to raise money for their prospective beneficiaries.

Products with Box Tops don’t offend me the way that breast cancer merchandise does, though.

I would say the most likely reason for that is that typically the Box Tops are fairly unobtrusive while the breast cancer merchandise is the opposite.  (ie: the scissors)  Now, obviously, these Box Tops products are just as intrusive as the breast cancer merchandise, but it’s only on the packaging.

I have to say, though, that I think my biggest reason for not being offended by the Box Tops is the fact that the money goes to schools.  I find that people get dumber every year and it’s partly because the public schools keep relaxing their requirements and introducing ridiculous programs that hinder education.

Did you know that my brother had to endure a self-image program that was teaching children that life was fair?!  When did life become fair?  Did I miss it?  What are those kids going to do when they hit the real world and find out that their teachers lied and life really isn’t fair?

Ugh, off-topic.  Sorry.

Anyways, Box Tops aren’t usually intrusive and for the school to get the money, you have to send them to the school and the school has to send them in to the organization.  I’ve noticed that the items with Box Tops are about the same price as items without Box Tops, sometimes less.

Breast cancer merchandise is usually defaced with that horrifying shade of pink and/or one of those annoying ribbons.  It’s not just on the packaging, either, it’s on the product itself.  The products I’ve seen with breast cancer usually have the price jacked up a bit to compensate for the “donation” that the company makes on your behalf.

That terminology annoys me, by the way.  The company doesn’t “make a donation on your behalf.”  You buy an item at a marked-up price and they donate the difference in their name.  They aren’t giving them any money out of their previous profit.  They’re upping the price before making any “donations.”

I go out of my way to not buy things connected to breast cancer charities and I’m not ashamed of it.  I will pay more money to buy a different brand, if necessary, just so that I don’t support that nonsense.  Again, I don’t have a problem with donating to the research, but I will do it myself.  In fact, in the past I have donated to breast cancer research, but not through this merchandising gimmick.

If I want someone to gawk over my generosity and kindness to fellow humans, then sure, I’ll by breast cancer scissors and carry them around everywhere to cut things that don’t need to be cut.

If I want to be a decent human being and donate something out of the kindness of my heart to a charity that desperately needs donations, then I’ll do so anonymously because that’s how I roll.  :-)

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