Oh, no! Barbie has a life!

Sunday, November 13, 2011 - Thoughts
Oh, no!  Barbie has a life!

Okay, apparently parents are getting bitchy about a collector Barbie doll that has pink hair, apparently fashionable clothing, a dog-cactus-thing named Bastardino, and some tattoos.  Yes, Bastardino.

Now, I had plenty of Barbie when I was younger.  I would still have my Barbie cards if dad hadn’t gotten rid of those at a garage sale…  That man seriously needs to stay out of my childhood things for garage sales!  Ugh!  Anyways, I used to have Barbies and play with my Barbies, Skippers, Kens, and others.  (I can’t remember all their names.)  At one point when I got a little older, you know that age where you aren’t ready to give up your toys but realize that you’re getting a little too old for them, my mom started buying me the collectible Barbies that stay in their box.

This inked-up Barbie is one of those.  She isn’t meant as a toy, but as a collector’s item.  Apparently they’re already sold out, too.  Take a look at her:

tokidoki® Barbie® Doll

tokidoki® Barbie® Doll

Personally, I hate pink and I think the animal print leggings are pure white-trash, but I’m not the one wearing them, am I?  I like the shirt, though.  Her little pet-thing needs a new name.  Even among adults the name Bastardino can’t be considered classy.  For that matter, nothing about this doll is particularly classy.

But this doll is not meant for children.  Aside from personal taste, it shouldn’t matter if the doll is classy or if the animal has an acceptable name or not.  Parents are apparently up in arms about the tattoos, though.

Why?  Well, tattoos aren’t usually considered to be tasteful.  Close your eyes for a moment.  Wait, don’t do that.  Damn…

Did you open them back up yet?  Good.  Alright, imagine that stereotypical thug biker who wants to beat your senseless, steal your money, and rape your wife.  Got it?  Is he covered in tattoos?  More than likely yes.

Tattoos tend to carry a stigma.  People who have them are often looked down upon.  To some extent, this is understandable, but at the same time tattoos are much more widespread than they used to be.  I know of far too many middle-aged women with tramp stamps left over from their “rebellious” stage, ex-boyfriends names permanently etched into their skin because they just knew that after two weeks they would be together forever, and guys who thought a naked chick on their bicep was the perfect way to prove how cool they were to all the girls.

These people have marked their body permanently for one reason or another and are stuck with the consequences of their decisions.

Here’s where things get a little murky for me.  I think tattoos on guys, in moderation and only in certain areas, can be acceptable depending on the design.  My husband, for starters, has two tattoos – one on each bicep.  On his left arm is a star with the word “zero” underneath.  On his right arm is a ninja star with a regular star inside.  Both tattoos use only black and blue coloring, neither have any sexual connotations.

My grandfather had two tattoos as well.  One on each ankle – a rooster and a pig.  Honey was in the Navy and, traditionally, a rooster and a pig tattooed on your ankles are supposed to keep a sailor from drowning.  I don’t know if it’s true or not, but Honey certainly didn’t drown.  As with Jaime’s tattoos, there is nothing even remotely sexual about Honey’s tattoos.

Tattoo Locations

Tattoo Locations

Jaime and Honey both have/had their tattoos in areas that are easily covered.  All Jaime has to do is wear a t-shirt and all Honey had to do was wear socks or pants, and he usually wore both.

Tattoos on girls, though, are iffy for me.  I’m sure you caught my use of the phrase “tramp stamp” above.  If not, you aren’t very observant.  By now, if you don’t know how I feel about the issues of modesty and covering yourself help before you go out in public, then you really need to pay more attention.  Oddly, though, the lower back (traditionally the locations of tramp stamps) is one of the few areas I think are acceptable for girls to have tattoos.  That, and the area just inside the shoulder blade (but off center from the spine) are acceptable to me.

You’re probably sitting there thinking, “This chick is completely psychotic!  She’s such a hypocrite!  What is wrong with her?”  Well, I know I make no sense to anyone who isn’t me.  I’m not sorry about that.

And I know a lot of girls get feet tattoos, but that’s just gross.  Feet are disgusting!

Anyways, we’ve had a post about judging people before, and I’ll be the first to say that I judge everyone.  If you have tattoos, I judge you.  Depending on the tattoos you have, the visibility, and whether you’re male or female all contributes to my judgement.

tokidoki® Barbie® Doll - Tattoo Close-ups

tokidoki® Barbie® Doll - Tattoo Close-ups

The above picture shows close-ups of the tokidoki® Barbie® Doll’s tattoos.  None of them seem extremely or obviously sexual.  Although I can’t quite make out the words under the crowned heart, it does appear to say “mon amour” on the second ribbon.  Based on the name of the Barbie and the few letters I can see clearly on the top ribbon, I would guess that it says “tokidoki.”

If I was to see someone walking around in public wearing her outfit with these tattoos partially visible (as shown in the first picture), my first though would be, “Oh no, not another freak who likes pink!  I hate pink!”  Followed shortly by, “Ugh…  Have a little class, lady.  Having someone scribble stupid crap all over you does not make you cool.  You look like a moron who doesn’t know the meaning of the word ‘moderation.'”  Depending on my observations of her behavior and attitude, (assuming, of course, that there is time for this sort of observation) would determine any other judgments I may make.

I know people covered in tattoos who are worthless.  I know people who pass all of society’s usual shallow judgments who are worthless.  I know people covered in tattoos who are the nicest people ever.  They donate their time and money to worthy causes and are always helping other people.

In the end, Barbie’s “choice” to ink herself up and look like trailer trash doesn’t change who she is on the inside.  It may negatively impact her ability to get a job one day, but considering that Barbie is also a princess, I don’t think she’s too worried about that.

Princess of Ireland™ Barbie® Doll

Princess of Ireland™ Barbie® Doll

In regards to the tokidoki® Barbie® Doll, aside from the fact that she has no taste, I see no problem with Mattel having created, marketed, and sold this doll.  So she’s got a few tattoos.  Big deal!  It’s not like they’ve made Prostitute Barbie!

Also, I really miss my collectible Barbies…  I might have to start collecting again.  Might…  I’m not sure they’re worth the time, space, or money, really.  But they’re fun to have.  And I really want that Princess of Ireland up there.  She’s pretty with skin as white as mine!  In fact, the whole Princess Collection is pretty cool!

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