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My Social Relationships – A Short Story

Monday, May 21, 2012 - Me, Scribbles
My Social Relationships – A Short Story

A lot of people seem to think I’m hanging out with Facebook a lot because he makes it look like we talk a lot (statuses, pictures, links, etc…) – and at least once a day if not more often.  (Click that Facebook icon in the right sidebar if you’re curious.)  In reality, though, he and I don’t chill that often.  I may talk to him once every other day or so – usually through his app.  Why?  Well, here’s our story…

Once, ages ago, Facebook and I had a thing going on.  Nothing too serious, but we were fairly exclusive.  We weren’t in love, though.  At least I wasn’t!  I mean come on!  He was just too jealous.  He was even jealous of my best friend Twitter (She’s that cute chick over there keeping Facebook from attacking my main man!) to the point of trying to be just like her “but better” he said.

You see, I love GooglePlus.  G+ was that new kid in school, and when he walked in the door I just fell in love.  (See that handsome icon shown first in the sidebar.  Yeah, that’s my man!)  I dropped Facebook like a hot potato and even kicked my best friend off to the side so that I could spend all my time with G+!  But, kids being the way they are, not everyone liked G+ – he’s just too sexy, you know?  Not everyone was willing to give him a try or even the time of day!

Oh, sure, they love his family’s business and all the cool stuff they can get from Google, but this new studmuffin not so much.  So in order to still keep some of my friends, I had to keep hanging out with my ex – Facebook.  You know how that goes.  It’s kind of a love-hate relationship.  Sometimes I think we’re at that point where we can be friends, and then he just goes crazy and sends me an ton of crazy emails that he knows I don’t want!  Or passes on a message from my stalker.  Or something just downright psychotic!

I don’t know what to do with him.  I want to keep him as a friend – there’s just so much history – but at the same time, he’s really cramping my new relationship with G+.  Like, I have to send almost all of my messages to Facebook through G+ because I’m worried that Facebook is going to get too attached again, or get the wrong message or something.  Sure, I email him pictures of the cats and other random stuff, but that’s just common courtesy.  Even my bestie Twitter (who totally forgave me for ditching her when G+ first showed up) gets those pictures!  Seriously.  I send it to them both (and G+’s friend Picasa) at the same time so that he doesn’t think he’s still got a chance or anything!

Social Wars

Facebook is always trying to beat up on G+ for some reason. And Twitter stands on the sidelines cheering for Facebook. (I think she kind of crushes on him - and she can have him!)

Honestly, I probably wouldn’t talk to him anymore if it weren’t for our mutual friends, you know?  I mean, we have a LOT of friends in common.  And almost all of them like him better than G+.  I know G+ is kind of intimidating and all – he comes from a good family, he’s well spoken, has sophisticated interests and all, but he’s still just a regular guy when you get beneath the surface.  I don’t get why more of my friends can’t see that.  :-(

Because they don’t like G+ for some weird reason, though, I try to deal with Facebook.  They’ll all be talking about something cool and I’ll join in, but then he starts acting like we’re dating again or something and tells me everything that everyone has said in the past two days all at once and it just gets weird again.

And then the people who just kind of know us but don’t really know what’s going on get all mean and stuff.  It’s like “why are you messing around with Facebook’s feelings” and “you need to choose, you can’t go back and forth.”  Like really?  You don’t even know me and you’re going to tell me what to do?  Come on!  I’m not going to drop all my friends just because they don’t like my new boyfriend, but I’m not going to pretend that G+ isn’t my one and only!

Sometimes you just have to suck it up and deal with your ex so that you can see your friends – no matter how painful it is.  Although, it would be nice if my friends could learn to accept G+ to make things a little easier on my heart.  And, you know, so Facebook can’t play on everyone’s sympathy by lying and saying that I’m leading him on or toying with emotions or anything like that.  Because I am so not doing that!  Like, I swear!

Occasionally Important Information:

My Rambling Autobiography: Part II
Happy and Doomed

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