My Rambling Autobiography

 Posted by Alysha DeShaé on Wednesday, November 09, 2011 at 07:00 pm  Me, Scribbles, Thoughts
Nov 092011
 
Rambling Thoughts

Inspired by the few I’ve discovered through various means, I’ve chosen to do my own rambling autobiography.  Be scared…  Also, if it’s in block quotes, it isn’t part of this writing exercise.

I was born April 12, 1984.  I’ve never stayed too long away from my family.  I moved to Texas when I was in middle school and again for a year after college, but I always came back.  I married my high school love New Year’s Day of 2011.  I love taking pictures.  My cats are my children.  My niece is second favorite person.  The first favorite is my husband, naturally.  I can’t cook without a recipe.  I remember characters in books better than people I’ve known my entire life.  Jaime let me have one of the rooms in the house as a library in exchange for me letting him have the other as a playroom/office.  I sleep best on the floor in my library surrounded by my books.

I love visiting the library, but since I’ve gotten my nook I haven’t gone nearly as often as I would like.  I enjoy music, but I don’t care one bit about the people who sing/play it.  I’m an Atheist, but religions intrigue me.  I enjoy reading some Christian fiction because I find it funny.  I recently discovered that there is a genre of Christian romance books – I haven’t read any yet, but I will.  Romance books turn me off.  Historical romance books make me giggle.  I love reading about history.  I keep a list of soon-to-be-released books on my expo board with their release dates so I don’t forget them.  Goodreads is quickly becoming my most visited site.  I’m a hardcore GoogleGirl, but I can’t tell you the name of their CEO; I just use and love their products.

I follow Randall Milholland on Twitter because I love his comic and he constantly makes me laugh.  I sometimes abuse Twitter, but I enjoy updating when I have the ability.  I work at Cabela’s and actually enjoy my job and the people with whom I work.  I hate needing to work.  I’m fluffy because I prefer reading to moving.  Without the internet, I would be even more boring than I am.  I’m okay with being boring.  Pop music is pleasing to me even if I’m “too old” for it.  I still listen to boybands and all the music I listened to when I was younger.  My music library is completely formatted at 128kbps in the AAC format and I’m a little disappointed in myself for doing that.  My iPod Classic and iTunes are the only Apple products I like.

If I could find an open source alternative to iTunes that would manage my music files as well as iTune does then I would switch in a heartbeat.  I use iGain to normalize my music files.  I use Calibre to organize, manage, and convert (if necessary) my ebooks and I also use it to push the ebooks to my nook.  My nook is the one item that I always have with me.  I read more than ever now that I have an ereader.  I still insist on DTEs of books I enjoyed, but ebooks are perfectly acceptable for all books, especially the books I didn’t like so much that I’ll reread them regularly.  My family has always picked on me for reading so much, but not in a mean way.  They just know that all presents given or received will be book related.

I get my love of reading most obviously from my grandmother – we’re constantly sharing books.  My mom used to read to me when I was younger.  My parents always made sure I had books available to me.  My dad got rid of all my Goosebumps, Babysitters’ Club, Great Illustrated Classics, Box Car Children, and a few other sets one year at a garage sale.  I didn’t find out until all that was left were a few of my V. C. Andrews’ books.  I broke down in tears.  I have a large collection of Golden Books and a moderate collection of other children’s books and movies for when I have kids.  I use Book Collector and Movie Collector (from Collectorz) to manage and catalog my DVD and DTE book collections.  My library is finally organized the way I like it.  At this point in time, I have only come across one series of books that I feel should be burned, but I can’t bring myself to do it.

Rambling Thoughts

Rambling Thoughts

If I’m at my computer, I’m either listening to music or watching something on netflix.  If I’m writing a book review, I like to listen to classical music or movie scores.  When I play Pottermore, I listen to the Harry Potter soundtracks.  I do not own any of the Harry Potter movies.  I didn’t buy any of the Harry Potter books until they were available in the trunk box set.  Ditto for Percy Jackson.  The Twilight books were all out by the time my grandmother told me I needed to read them, so I bought a boxed set when I got them.  Jaime started buying me the collector’s edition Twilight books, and now that the last one is out, I’m going to get rid of the box set.  I have a small rock that I keep on my bookshelf near the Twilight books to help illustrate my defense against sparkly vampires.

Jaime thinks I like Twilight a lot more than I actually do, and that’s okay with me.  I only have one Willow Tree figurine, Promise, and it was bought on our honeymoon.  Jaime is the only guy who has ever bought me real jewelry, and he started in high school with a beautiful crucifix for my 16th birthday.  I still have and occasionally wear the crucifix in spite of my lack of belief.  I can’t remember ever believing in a god; my theory is that my parents did a horrible job of explaining the difference between God and Santa.  I still have the deep belief that the Easter Bunny is real even though I know the trick my parents used to get me to believe when I was younger.  My birthday has fallen on Easter Sunday twice so far in 1998 and 2009; it will happen again in 2020.  Right now, all I can think about are bookends – I need 30 of them.

I’ve recently discovered a love for graphic novels.  I have two sets of the “Chronicles of Narnia,” neither are movie-cover tie-ins, both are numbered differently from the publisher, and I’ve read each set several times.  I have more pictures of my cats and niece than almost anyone or anything else.  I still have stuffed animals from when I was a baby.  I have two stuffed dragons (one blue, one red) hanging from the ceiling in my library that Jaime bought me last year.  I can’t imagine how I would get off-track during a “rambling autobiography,” but I still feel as though I’ve done this wrong because it’s longer than any of the others I’ve seen.

I’m thinking that I should have gone to Jaime’s room to type this.  My life does, to some extent, revolve around books and reading, but typing my thoughts while surrounded by my books certainly emphasized that.  Well, I can’t see how it could remain the way it’s supposed to if I go back and edit it, so I’m leaving it as is.

Write your own rambling autobiography and leave me a link to read it!  For that matter, type it in the comments!  I’m really curious to see how others will do this little activity.  Just start typing about yourself and see where your thoughts take you.  :-)

By the way, I have a playlist of songs that have never been played after being added to my library that I leave playing so that the songs scrobble to Lastfm.  I also have a playlist of songs that have been played fewer than three times that I often play while working at my computer to insure that I listen to every song at least twice.  I use my mom’s and brother’s computers to back-up both my ebook library and my music library.  My mom recently gave me a simple recipe for baking chicken and I’m planning to use it for the second time tonight.  Jaime and I often eat the same meal a few days in a row when I cook so I can get more practice.  Hormel makes microwavable roasts that are fantastic!

I use Microsoft Paint on a regular basis even though I have PhotoShop and PaintShop.  I really like eating chicken.  The only thing better than chicken is turkey.  My favorite meal, though, is meatloaf, mashed potatoes and gravy, carrots and peas.  I really love sweet iced tea.  I have a cup full at my hand and another pitcher steeping right now.  The paragraph spacing in this post was done mostly to help make it easier to read, not to separate ideas.  Writing is something I would love to do, but my plot ideas tend to fizzle out because I either over-simplify or over-complicate them.  I considered participating in NaNoWriMo this year, but forgot about it until after the start of the month and decided against starting late.

I will definitely participate next year.  I participate in the Alzheimer’s Walk to Remember in Baton Rouge every year along with my family in memory of Honey, my grandfather.  Certain people in my family drive me bananas!  Other people in my family are counted among my best friends even though I don’t actually talk to them as often as I would like.  I’m horrible when it comes to keeping in touch with someone.  I had an internet penpal once, but forgot to check my email for a few weeks and was too embarrassed to email them back after ignoring them for so long.  I interact more with strangers online than with people I know in real life.  I prefer pixels to people.  I prefer penguins to dogs.  I’m a cat person.

I was going to continue typing until I realized the time.  I need to throw some chicken in the oven, clean the litter box, and sweep up a bit before Jaime gets home.  Enjoy this incredibly long rambling autobiography brought to you by yours truly.  ^_^

No reviews tomorrow, either…

 Posted by Alysha DeShaé on Tuesday, November 01, 2011 at 11:55 pm  Family, Me, Music
Nov 012011
 
Chunk and Minou

Sorry this is late. I babysat for my sister after work and couldn’t find a working/charged/accessible computer at her place.

But, I promised this post would be up today, so it will be up before the day is done! ^_^

So… “What have I been up to,” I ask myself.

“Not too much,” I answer.

Hahaha! Okay, I’m not going to do a pretend dialogue with myself. Well, not today, anyway. :-p

Chunk and Minou

Chunk and Minou

Chunk (my nephew Chase) has a new best friend. I realize the picture is crappy, I took it with my phone, but that little cat followed him around waiting to be picked up by her whiskers, her back legs, and her tail. I was in shock that she didn’t attack when that happened (and I fussed at him each time) but she pretty much launched herself at him and into his hands. It was precious. :-) Also, that’s the only picture I took while babysitting. :-( My phone sucks as a camera, obviously, and I was having too much fun falling off the hammock and playing with my kiddos to try to get a decent shot. Oh, and yes, he’s wearing his sister’s jacket. :-p

I haven’t been doing too much besides reading and watching stuff on netflix while I compute. On netflix, though, I’ve recently watched every episode they have of Futurama, South Park, Pair of Kings, and JONAS. I’ve started, but not yet finished, Ancient Aliens and Family Guy.

Also- Don’t judge me!

I’m just kidding, judge away! I don’t care what you think of my netflix choices. ^_^ Those are just the television shows. I’ve also watched a few movies, but I’m too lazy to look up any of the titles except for the two I can remember off the top of my head: “Dragon Hunters: and “The Secret of Kells”. Both of which I really enjoyed and recommend.

As for books, check out my goodreads: http://goodreads.com/alyshadeshae I try to keep the “currently reading” shelf mostly up to date. At this exact moment in time, it is not, but it will be before I go to bed.

Music, though, this will be fun! Jaime recently introduced me to a band called Pop Evil and a song called “Monster You Made” and I love it! Check it out:

I haven’t actually checked out the video other than to find the link/embed code and listen to it while typing stuff to make sure it was the actual song. It sounds fine, though, and I hope it’s not too inappropriate or tacky. :-)

I’ve also been really loving almost everything I’ve heard from Mitchel Musso, specifically “Open the Door” shown here:

By the way, without sounding too creepy, can we say that he is now officially hot? Also, I love the goofy dancing jumping stuff he does in this video. Adorable! ^_^ That video is on his youtube channel, so check out his other songs. :-)

One more thing… HOBO SHOES FOR THE WIN!! Aaaahahaha! You can’t tell me those shoes he’s wearing in the video don’t look like they would fit right in with a hobo costume!

Oh, and heyhihello has yet to leave my playlist since I discovered them months ago!

That’s the first song of just them that I heard. I first learned about them through this awesome Wrock (Wizard Rock for the muggles out there) song:

They’re all just adorable! And I’ve yet to come across a song of their’s that I dislike. :-D Jaime has informed me that they sound like a band/artist called Owl City. I had never heard of them/him before, until I realized that I had sort of come across this apparently very popular song:

I love that song! :-D

So… Now that I’ve overloaded your browser with some very pop-ish music videos, let’s add in one more of a song that I adore even if the video isn’t quite my style:

I really love Manson’s songs, but his videos usually disgust me…

Well, I’ve covered books, netflix, and music. Any other questions? Hit me up in the comments or in the formspring box in the sidebar! Also, please don’t hate me for the videos! :-p It’s the best way to share music, in my opinion!

No Reviews Today

 Posted by Alysha DeShaé on Tuesday, November 01, 2011 at 08:30 am  Me
Nov 012011
 
Excuse me... What are you doing?

You remember how long I went without any reviews, right?  And you remember that I blamed it on the “Series of Unfortunate Events,” don’t you?

Well, just writing reviews for them is killing me right now!  I couldn’t even bring myself to open my own site yesterday…

Anyways, I will write a post later this evening (after work) about netflix.  Well, stuff I’ve been watching on netflix…  Maybe iTunes and some music I’ve been listening to.  I might even mention the books I’m reading.  ^_^

Excuse me... What are you doing?

Excuse me... What are you doing?

Essentially, I’m just going to tell you what I’ve been up to!

Shock!  A personal post!  What is this world coming to?!

Hahaha!  :-p  Anyways, this is pretty much your only warning.  If you don’t want to see this upcoming post, then don’t!

Beliefs as an Atheist

 Posted by Alysha DeShaé on Wednesday, August 31, 2011 at 12:00 pm  Me, Thoughts
Aug 312011
 

Yes, I’m an atheist.  If you’ve been around for a while you probably already know that.  However, it’s difficult to convey my beliefs with the term “atheist.”

Atheists can’t have beliefs, idiot.

Well, sure we can.  For example, I believe that there is no God, gods, mystical beings, creators, angels, devils, heaven, hell, designer, or other almighty, omniscient being out there.

So, what do I believe in if I believe there isn’t a god?  I believe that when we die, we cease to exist.  There is no life after death, no heaven, no hell, no crazy mad man who claims to have created everything to judge me, just nothing.

But that’s so depressing.

No, it’s not.  I have a lifetime to enjoy everything.  I would say a lifetime is long enough.

But I want more than one lifetime!

You’re the one that believes in God, take it up with him.

I’ve heard you say that you’re planning to raise your kids Catholic.  If you don’t believe in God, why would you do that?

Belief in god has very little to do with the mechanics of a religion.  I honestly cannot remember a time that I believed in any god, but the church had a lot to do with me turning into a decent human.  Jaime was also raised Catholic and agrees with me about the church.

Why don’t you believe in god?

Why don’t you believe in Santa Clause?  For me, at least, the answers coincide.  When I was a child, Santa and God were pretty much one being in my mind.  My parents (and the church, I assume) hadn’t done a very good job of keeping the two ideas separate.  When you’re teaching a kid that “God is Jesus is the Holy Spirit” and that they’re all one being, and then you throw Santa into the mix around Christmas, well, things are bound to get a little mixed up.

You  might remember who it was that ruined Santa for you.  Maybe your older sibling spilled the beans because they didn’t get what they wanted; possibly some children at schooled teased you and called you a baby for thinking Santa was bringing you presents; might it have been a cousin who let it slip because he forgot you didn’t know?  I can’t actually remember, but I’m pretty sure it was one of my cousins.  I do remember asking the adults if it was true that Santa was fake.  I got the usual wishy-washy “we were going to tell you” nonsense, but it was confirmed that Santa was fake.  In my child mind, that meant God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit were fake, too.

I never regained any faith after that, although I did go through a phase in middle school where I told my parents I was a “mythologist” and that I was going to worship the “true gods” of Zeus, Poseidon, Hades, and the rest…  I still continued going to church with my family because it wasn’t optional.  I completed the Sacraments through Confirmation, when my parents finally stopped forcing me to go.  Through all of this, though, nothing convinced me that there was a god.

I saw the effects – both good and bad – that religion and faith could have on people.  Especially weak-minded and weak-willed people.  These people use god and faith as a crutch because they have no self-discipline.  Left to their own devices with no god telling them that they have to behave, they would wreak havoc on the world simply because they felt like it.  Of course, the flip side of that coin are the people who misbehave because their god will forgive them as long as they ask for forgiveness.

Bad Religious Freak:  God, I killed a few people the other day while I was bored.  I’m sorry now.  Please forgive me?

God:  Well, you still say I’m your God and you put no other before me.  And you did say please…  Alright, you’re forgiven!  Love you.

Bad Religious Freak:  Love you, too, God!  And thanks.

Yeeeah…  That doesn’t work for me.  A god takes away your personal responsibility and that’s not cool.  If you are incapable of acting like a decent human being without a god telling you that you’ll go to hell otherwise, then you are a bad person no matter what you believe.

Also, before you freak out and say “that’s not how it works, you have to be a good person, too” read your bible.  That pretty much is how it works.  I forget the exact verse – I never was good at memorizing that kind of garbage – but the “not through works, but through faith” verse is the one you’re looking for.  Yes, you are also supposed to strive to be a decent person, but your god also says he’ll forgive you almost anything if you are truly sorry.  That still just doesn’t work for me.

I know this guy with an anger problem.  Well, lack of self discipline, mostly – bad parenting turned into some massive problems the older he got.  Anyways, when he loses his temper, he’ll scream, holler, throw stuff, say horrible things, and hurt people and animals.  He’s always really sorry once he calms down, but then it happens the next time he throws a tantrum.  This guy believes in a god that forgives him after every single one of these completely unacceptable outbursts.  According to his beliefs and the ideals that his church preaches, he’s going to heaven.  I sure as hell don’t want to be in heaven if he’s there, would you?!

But what if you’re wrong?  I would rather believe in God and find out I’m wrong than not believe, be wrong, and go to hell.

Pascal’s Wager is for people who are too afraid to stand up  for themselves.

What?  What’s Pascal’s Wager?

Pascal’s Wager is believing in God just in case he does exist.  That’s like when you get insurance on your car.  You don’t want to believe that you’ll get in a wreck, but you get the insurance just in case.  Believing in any god as an insurance policy is a crappy kind of belief.  I would respect you more if you simply said, “I have faith that there is a god.  I do not believe that the world would exist as it does today without Divine Interference.”

That doesn’t make any sense.  That’s just my belief, I didn’t copy some Pascal thing.

It doesn’t matter if you knew about Pascal’s Wager beforehand.  What matters is that it exists, existed before you and your belief, and sums up your belief in a much more eloquent manner.

Fine, whatever.  You still didn’t answer my question.  What if you’re wrong?

Have you read any of the Chronicles of Narnia?

What?  Answer the damn question!!!

Just trust me on this; it will help me to answer your question.  Have you read any of the Chronicles of Narnia books?  Specifically, have you read “The Last Battle?”  Also, do you have a basic knowledge of the books, even if it’s only from the few movies?

Fine, yes.  I know the basics.  There’s a lion named Aslan who can talk, some kids, a magic closet, and an imaginary place called Narnia.  Will you please answer my question now?

In the Chronicles of Narnia, Aslan is essentially Jesus.  There are numerous parallels drawn between the two throughout the series including the death and resurrection of both.  Anyways, there is another god – or devil, if you prefer – called Tash.  Tash is essentially the opposite of Aslan.  Tash’s worshipers range from good to bad, just as Aslan’s worshipers do.

When Aslan brings the world to an end, he judges all beings.  At one point, he says this to a worshiper of Tash:

Child, all the service thou hast done to Tash, I account as service done to me.  Not because he and I are one, but because we are opposites, I take to me the services which thou hast done to him.  For I and he are of such different kinds that no service which is vile can be done to me, and none which is not vile can be done to him.  Therefore if any man swear by Tash and keep his oath for the oath’s sake, it is by me that he has truly sworn, though he know it not, and it is I who reward him.  And if any man do a cruelty in my name, then, though he says the name Aslan, it is Tash whom he serves and by Tash his deed is accepted.

Now, if you’ve read the book, you’ll remember the Dwarfs.  “We haven’t let anyone take us in. The Dwarfs are for the Dwarfs.”  Aslan tries to help them out of their situation, and no good comes of it because the Dwarfs refuse to see.  “They will not let us help them. They have chosen cunning instead of belief. Their prison is only in their own minds, yet they are in that prison; and so afraid of being taken in that they cannot be taken out.”  The Dwarfs pretty much represent the Atheists, and this is where I disagree with C. S. Lewis’ depiction.

You still haven’t answered my question…

If you would quit interrupting me I would!

You’re talking about a book!

I’m giving you the words that better describe my reason for my answer.  If you would just let me finish, you would understand why I gave you a passage from a book, first.

Hurry up, then, I don’t have all day!

As I was saying, I disagree with Lewis about his take on Atheists.  In his books, after Aslan tries once to help and it doesn’t work, we hear no more about them.  Tash doesn’t take them, from what I understand, and neither does Aslan.  They simply cease to exist.  I have no problem with that, actually.  The problem that I have is that if there truly is a god and he is truly a decent, loving, caring being, then it wouldn’t matter to him whether a person believes in him, only whether he has done good things.

The Tash worshiper I mention earlier did good in the name of Tash, but his good deeds are attributed to Aslan.  Just as any bad Aslan worshiper’s bad deeds done in the name of Aslan are attributed to Tash.  Essentially what Lewis is saying is that as long as you believe in a god, it doesn’t matter which one you believe in because your good deeds go to the right god.  If you believe in nothing, though, you’re screwed and will cease to exist.

I am perfectly content with ceasing to exist at the point of my death.  I already believe that is what happens when a person dies.  If however, I am wrong and there is a god, then I would hope he would be a decent enough being (and similar to Aslan) to take into account a person’s overall goodness and not just his beliefs.

Although, if I’m wrong, there is a god, and he cares more about being worshiped than people being good, then I don’t want anything to do with him anyway.  Who wants to deal with a spoiled brat for all eternity?  I know I don’t!

You do believe in God!  You just said it!

Umm, no.  Weren’t you paying attention?

Yes, I was.  And you said you believed in God.  He’s isn’t going to like being called names, but you believe!

Riiiight…  Let me try this again.

  • I do not believe in any gods.
  • I believe that, if I’m wrong and there is a god, he would be a decent enough being to take into account that I’m a decent person.
  • I believe that, if I’m wrong and there is a god, if he isn’t decent enough to take into account that I’m decent simply because I did not believe in him that he’s an egotistical pain in the butt and I wouldn’t want to be stuck with him for an eternity anyway.

Got it?

You believe in God.  Got it.

I hate dumbasses…

Author’s Note:

This is pretty much how every conversation I have with a Christian goes…  No joke.  Because I’m willing to offer up an “if I’m wrong” scenario, they assume that I believe in a god no matter how clear I try to make it.  Oh well.

How to Read

 Posted by Alysha DeShaé on Tuesday, August 16, 2011 at 08:30 am  Hobbies, Me, Thoughts
Aug 162011
 
Read a book!

This post is inspired by a reply to one of my comments on a youtube video.  I watched a video a few months ago entitled “How Many Books Will You Read in Your Life?” from user cropperb.  He has a ton of videos, and maybe they’re good, I don’t know.  I haven’t watched them.  I did watch this video, though, while Googling for something about books.  I really can’t tell you what specifically I was searching for because I don’t remember, but here is his video.

I won’t lie, it annoyed the snot out of me.  Especially the coughing.  Now, the video is from 2006, keep that in mind.  Anyways, I disagreed with him on a few key points.  I’m going to just post my comment (really, comments because I had to split it up due to character limits) here:

You’ve made me laugh my butt off. First, I wondered why you didn’t video this without all the coughing. That just about killed me. But really? You’re 27 and haven’t even read 100 books? I realize that the video is four years old, but still… That’s sad. I didn’t start keeping track of books I’ve read until late last year and, while there aren’t too many classics on my recently read list, I’ve read several thousand books over the course of my lifetime so far (I’m 27) and I average at least 250 a year if not more. This year I’m aiming for 348 and I’m keeping track of them with reviews on my website. Sadly, I keep procrastinating on writing the reviews, but I’m still keeping track of what I’ve read so far. Audio books are cheating, in my opinion. You’re getting the story, sure, and they’re entertaining, but I don’t count it as reading. Assuming that I read 250 books a year for the next 40 years, I’m still at 10,000 books. Compared to the numberof published books each year, it’s not a lot, but it’s a whole lot better than “six or eight thousand” in a lifetime because it doesn’t take into account the books I’ve read in the past, only what I *will* read in the future. I watched the video hoping it would be something interesting, but instead you’re just reading audio books and trying to make people feel guilty for not reading as much as you do when you barely read anything! Shame on you.

A few days ago, I received a reply to my comment from joker52mlb:

 That’s amazing! I’ve been reading for about 4 years, and I’m still under 100. I too, keep procrastinating. But I wish I could find more time as well. Could you give me some tips, as to reading speed and time conservation? I’m still a pretty slow reader :(

Well, when I started to respond to this post, I realized that I was going to run into the same character limit problem as before…  I was kind of inspired.  So, joker52mlb, here is my response.  I can’t guarantee that this is perfect or the best way to read faster or more, but it is the way that I manage to read as much as I do.

Tips for Reading

Always have your book!

Always, always, always have your book!  My husband got me the Barnes and Noble nook last Christmas (the original black and white, plain jane, no 3g, no color games and apps, wi-fi always off) so that I wouldn’t have to carry around several books with me all the time.  I’ve loaded it up with a few hundred books and I *always* have something to read whenever I have a minute.  Waiting in line at the grocery store – pull it out and read a few pages; sitting at the doctor’s office – read a chapter; stuck in traffic (parked, not continuously moving) – read a paragraph, check progress!  Read at least ten minutes every night before bed.  Set your alarm clock ten minutes early and read for a bit before getting out of bed.  Read while eating breakfast or lunch or dinner (assuming that you aren’t being rude and ignoring people).  If you absolutely cannot miss an episode of your favorite show, read during the commercials.  If you have the book (or ereader) with you, make it a habit to pick it up whenever you have a free minute.  Even if it’s only a minute.  Developing the habit of grabbing the book will ensure that when you actually have time to read a chapter or two, you will actually read them instead of staring at a wall, watching TV, fiddling around with Angry Birds on your phone, or things like that.  Also, if you have a smart phone, you probably have an ereader, too – just check for an app!

If you are going to buy a dedicated ereader, though, I strongly recommend a black and white ereader (with the e-ink display) instead of one of the backlit readers.  Your smart phone will be backlit, which is fine for those quick minutes of reading while waiting in line, but when you want to get some serious reading done, your eyes will start to hurt.

Practice makes perfect!

My grandfather started teaching me to read when I was about two.  I don’t know how well that worked really, but I know that I’ve always loved to read.  I can’t remember a time when I was ever not reaching for a book instead of a television remote.  I’ve always had books at my disposal.  They are one of the few things that were never forbidden to me as a child.  Sure, I would get grounded with “no tv, nintendo, computer, music, and whatnot,” but my books were off-limits even to my parents.  Well, until my dad sold all my Babysitters’ Club, Great Illustrated Classics, Sweet Valley, and Goosebumps books at a garage sale when I got older.  I don’t think he understood that I wasn’t just saving them for myself, but also for my future children.  *sigh*

Anyways, the point of that little trip down memory lane is that you have to keep reading.  The more you read, the quicker you’ll be able to read and the more you’ll absorb.  You don’t have to read classics, just read.  Pick up Dr. Seuss for all I care (I recommend “The Lorax” personally), but read.  Start small, if necessary.  There is no shame in reading a children’s book.  I still feel a sense of accomplishment every time I finish reading a book whether it’s a cardboard toddler book with eight pages or an eighteen-hundred page epic novel.

If you’re having trouble staying interested, read to someone.  Grab your son or daughter, niece or nephew, brother or sister, random stranger’s baby off the street and read them a book!  <Do not actually grab a random stranger’s baby; it could be construed as kidnapping!>  If you remember any old favorites from when you were a child, reread them!  There is no shame in rereading a book.  I reread Harry Potter regularly along with other favorites.

Read along with an audio book!

Despite the fact that I mock cropperb for considering his audiobooks as real reading, audio books are useful for people who are having trouble staying interested long enough to get through a book.  (This doesn’t refer to a book being boring, but more to the fact that people are so intent on “multi-tasking” that they are physically unable to control themselves and sit still longer than two minutes.)  Get the audio book and the physical book (your library probably has both for popular books) and read along.  Remember those old storybook records?  You popped the record in the player, grabbed the sleeve which was also a book, and read along while looking at the pretty pictures?  No?  Just me?  Damn I’m old!  (I’m not actually old, but we had a working record player and tons of records when I was growing up.  For my 18th birthday, my grandmother got me a new record player and I regularly listen to my favorites.)

Anyways, there is no shame in reading along to a recording of the book.  There also isn’t much shame in listening to books while driving, but don’t say, “Oh, I read the entire Dune series,” when all you did was listen to them.  (Also, the Dune books are awesome!)

Read what makes you happy!

I’m sick of people who try to talk down to you when they don’t approve of what you’re reading.  Especially when they haven’t read the books!

Bobby:  What are you reading?

Mary:  “Twilight.”

Bobby:  What?  Those books are crap!

Mary:  Well, I like them…

Bobby:  You and about fifty million pathetic little twelve-year-old fangirls who wouldn’t know literature if it slapped them in their faces!

Mary:  Um…

Bobby:  I’m so sick of people reading all this garbage and thinking that it’s good!  Why can’t you people read the classics so that you don’t kill off the only brain cells you have left!!!

Mary:  Have you read the books?

Bobby:  No, why would I read crap like that!

Mary:  Well, how do you know if it’s garbage if you haven’t read it?  Are you just parroting what other people have said?

That being said, there are books I will happily trash.  The “House of Night” series, for instance.  I will not, however, trash a book I haven’t read.  I don’t even trash the trashy romance novels because they fill their own little niche.  The trashy romance novels are supposed to be trashy!  And I’ll even pick one up occasionally when I want some cotton candy for the brain!

Also, don’t trash a book without reading it.  If you’ve read it and it sucks, let us know!  If you’ve read it and it’s awesome, let us know that, too!

Read a book!

Read a book!

Graphic novels are your friend!

Comic books aren’t just for the stereotypical kid that gets crammed into his locker, flushed down the toilet, and dropped face first in the trash can anymore!  There are some truly incredible books that have been adapted into graphic novels.  “The Last Unicorn,” for instance, and “The Hobbit” which I can’t wait to get!  There are also books that simply are graphic novels (not an adaption) such as “Johnny the Homicidal Maniac.”  There are also a couple Fraggle Rock graphic novels!  My grandmother got me one and I’m going to get my hands on the other one(s) when I can.  I can’t wait to read the one from my grandmother!

If you’re looking to ease your way into reading, are a more visual person, or just want to try something new, swing over to your bookstore and ask them to show you their graphic novel selection and maybe recommend one.  The gentleman at my local Books-A-Million is always happy to help me with any questions I have about graphic novels (or any of the books, really) and the day I got “The Last Unicorn” graphic novel, we had a fantastic laugh because I was so excited I couldn’t let go of the book.

Never be ashamed of your book choices.

Ever.  Pick a book you think you will like.  If you don’t like it, fine, but don’t be ashamed of the books you choose to read.  I’m psychotic about my physical books and I don’t like them out of my library especially now that I have a nook to tote around.  Before I had my nook, though, I constantly had books (yes, more than one) with me and sometimes people would pick on me for what I was reading.  I remember when one of my aunts decided that I was old enough for romance novels…

She gave me this huge garbage bag filled to bursting with the trashiest, raunchiest, most dirty books I could imagine.  And I read every single one of them.  I brought them to school and would sit at my desk with my book on my lap reading instead of taking notes, on the cafeteria table instead of eating, on the bus instead of paying attention to my stops…  Well, basically doing the same things I had been doing with my other books.  Only these had raunchy cover art and provocative titles like “Playboy McCoy” and “Sweet Savage Love.”  To say that I got teased was an understatement.  For a week straight, even after I had finished “Playboy McCoy,” other girls were saying things like, “I thought only boys read playboys.  Are you a boy?  Gross!”  Eh, I developed a thick skin.

Well, I really have very thin and sensitive skin, but I was speaking figuratively.  :-p  The point is, those books were what I wanted to read at the time, so I read them.  I didn’t let someone else convince me that I shouldn’t read them just because of their own opinions when they had never even heard of the book let alone read it!

If you want to read it, then read it and enjoy it!  If you’re a seventy-eight-year-old man and you want to read “Fallen,” “Bumped,” or “The Constant Princess,” do it!  Don’t let someone else make you feel ashamed for reading what you enjoy!

Keep track of your reading progress!

Join Goodreads (and add me as a friend!) and let everyone know what you’ve read, how far in you are, what you think of the book, and how well you rate it!  You will be amazed (or appalled) at how much you are actually reading once you start tracking it!  If you use the “currently reading” shelf for the books that you are, you know, currently reading, you can tell us how you feel after each chapter.  Or after a particular event.  Or just why you quit reading the book if you gave up halfway through.  A social reading site is one way of having others encourage you to keep reading.  It’s also a fantastic way of getting book recommendations.  :-D

Take care of your books and/or ereader!

You would be surprised at how important the look of a book is to deciding whether or not you’re going to read it.  Now I’m not just talking about the cover art.  I’m talking about whether the book has pages falling out, there’s a dried pepperoni stuck between the pages, or the book looks like it’s been nested in by rats.  If you’re scared of catching the plague just by looking at the book, you aren’t going to want to read it.

Keep your books on a shelf.  Organize them however you see fit, but keep them organized.  Dust them when necessary or vacuum very, very, very carefully.  If necessary, replace damaged books.  Try to repair any damaged books you have.  There are plenty of resources online to walk you through certain types of damage.  Google is your friend!

If you have an ereader, clean the screen when it gets smudged.  Get a case for it and take care of the case!  Never leave the ereader outside unattended in case of surprise animal attacks or rain storms.  To keep your ebooks organized, I recommend calibre and strongly recommend that you make use of the metadata features.  Trust me on this.

Build your library at your own pace!

Adding hundreds of books to your library all at once is ridiculously simple to do with an ereader and not too much more difficult with dead tree editions provided you’re willing to hit up Goodwill and book trade stores.  Try to keep pace with the books you add to your library though.  If you add a thousand books to your library and you’ve only read two books in the previous year, you’re going to be so intimidated by your own library that you’ll run crying from your books and procrastinate even longer.  As a personal library, mine rivals almost every other person that I actually know.  Recently I completely reorganized, separated my books in a way that made sense to me, put them in order for myself, added another book shelf, and then bought some more books.

I use the collectorz.com Book Database Software to keep a digital catalog of all my books.  (I use their movie version to keep track of my DVDs.)  The software works great, but it’s not free like calibre.  I don’t do much with that software other than put in the ISBNs where possible (I have a good number of older books without ISBNs) so I don’t particularly recommend it, but I won’t trash it either.  I will say that when I get the chance and want to take the time, I will be transferring my database of real books over to calibre and use that software exclusively for all my book cataloging needs.  :-D

Have a to-read list!

Even if you’re constantly adding to it or skipping around your list, having a to-read list means that you know what you’re going to read next.  For some of my friends, a lot of potential reading time is wasted try to decide what to read.  My current to-read list has over eighty books on it.  I’ll knock those out sooner or later, but while I’m reading I’ll be adding more to that list.  You will always find another book you want to read.  Don’t forget about it, though, add it to a to-read list and come back to it later!

Knowing when to quit.

Here’s one tip that I struggle with myself.  I constantly read books that I hope will be awesome like “Torment.”  I’ll get partway through and realize it’s as bad as the previous book.  However, instead of putting the book down and moving on to the next book, I force myself to finish it.  I’ll give myself the worst headache ever because I’m too stubborn to not finish a book.  This is a very bad habit of mine, but it goes back to my previous statement about not trashing a book I haven’t read.

The proper thing to do, supposedly, when you find yourself reading a book that really sucks read until you’re either one hundred pages or approximately one-third of the way through the book.  If at that point, you still want to blow your brains out, give the book to goodwill, sell it at a used book store, or give it to a friend.  Don’t waste your time finishing it.  Your time is valuable!  Don’t forget that.  :-)

Speed reading is not cool, dude.

That sounds weird coming from someone who reads quickly, but I think there’s a difference between speed reading and simply reading quickly the way I do.  I haven’t ever learned to speed read.  Over the years my reading speed has picked up, but as the second tip states, “practice makes perfect” and it’s not due to any super secret trick I have hidden up my sleeve.  I know that there are several how-to’s written about speed reading, but they don’t seem to be anything special.  Most of them simply say “follow the words with your finger so you won’t lose your place when you get distracted by the shiny thing on the floor” and “the more you read (ie: practice) the faster you’ll get.”

In Conclusion:

  • Always have your book!
  • Practice makes perfect!
  • Read along with an audio book!
  • Read what makes you happy!
  • Graphic novels are your friend!
  • Never be ashamed of your book choices.
  • Keep track of your reading progress!
  • Take care of your books and/or ereader!
  • Build your library at your own pace!
  • Have a to-read list!
  • Knowing when to quit.
  • Speed reading is not cool, dude.

I’m sure I’ll think of some other things later, but these are my tips for reading.  :-)  Let me know what you think in the comments, please!  I would love feedback on this topic and leave your own suggestions, too!

Quick Note: For those who are missing my reviews, I’ve got a few to write and I’m sorry.  The “Series of Unfortunate Events” books gave me writers block.  :-/  I have a few days to myself at the end of this week and I’m hoping to get them knocked out now that I’ve cleansed them from my system…  You’ll understand why I used that phrase when I review them, I hope.

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